Memories

We belong
to whispers at night
                      drunken interludes
                and innocent occasions
                      in stolen shadows
                  witnessed
                     by strangers
                           in passing
            and only half
        borne true to life
images hidden
   pressed between pages
            of pictures
                    of a life
                once wanted
                    now unfulfilled
        vodka stained lips
           and Red Bull laced veins
    hold memories
barely contained
       by the silence in a seam
                                        time
                        spent in a dream
                          …Just you.
                      …Just me.
            and our pages
           have no names
our story ending
    forever left
           untold
                  just as a song
                        unsung
                has no lyrical home
       and a love
    never expressed
touches but only one heart.
                                As for you and I,
                        changed forevermore
               surface of skin
   to depth of soul.

Alive

I want to feel the breath
  from your body
            escape
                  in short fragments
      through the tiny slivers
    of space
      between my fingers
  so I can confirm
       you really are
             alive.

And your heartbeat…
      I want to hear the rhythm
    the thump
                thump
                       thump
                   as the valves
              in your heart
        draw life
    outward
             from the chambers
           towards
                             your arms
                 which I want
             wrapped tightly
       around me
     so you can confirm
                 that I really am
                         alive.

Not a Keeper

I claw at my throat
but it’s no use
I still cannot
begin to breathe

Half a life
slammed shut
in a dusty book
and shelved
only for future
generations
to look back on

Saved
by only me
and me alone

You are not a keeper
of memories
nor my heart

Always easy for you
to throw away
people
places
and things

Still
it is unsettling
sitting curbside
with the rubbish

Take a Breath

Restlessness fills me

head to toe - body and soul.

Breathe easy. Let go.

(February 7, 2012)

Let Me Be

I don’t need you
  second guessing my happiness
  and judging my choices in life
  because I haven’t taken the same path as you.
The same path that we travelled together
  hand in hand
  for so many years.
If that path were still for me
  don’t you think that you would still be for me too?
                        (No)
I ventured off that path for a reason
  and we will both be better for it.
You can thank me later
  but for now,
  let me live in peace.


(February 7, 2012)

Forever Breaking

A heart,
wrapped
in impermanence,
will be promised
nothing
but
to be
forever
breaking.


(February 7, 2012)

I cannot seem to smile
and my skin cannot grip
happiness.
It’s fluid motion
keeps slipping through the cracks.
There is only dread
painted on my lips
and sadness bleeds
from this heart of mine.
I would close my eyes
and wish the pain away
but when I close my eyes
your eyes are all
that my eyes see.


(February 1, 2012)

Today has taken a toll on me.
These bones,
No longer whole,
Have been chopped up Into confetti
And tossed into the wind.
This heart,
No longer beats,
The pulse of a lovers song.
It has been crushed
By the weight
Of a million memories
Never to be relived.
These hands,
No longer warm,
Have turned to ice
From the cold ache
Of longing for your touch.
Today has taken a toll on me.


(January 31, 2012)

Just a Touch

Your skin
  is further from my reach
    than ever before
  yet here I am
with arms outstretched
  trying so desperately
    to grasp what is left
  with a feverish urgency.
I know
  that if I can just
    brush my fingertips
  against the surface
of your barriers
  I can surely reach your core
    and make you fall in love
  with me again.


(January 31, 2012)

At times,
  I lash out
    beyond reason.
Unspent emotion
  bottled up
    until it explodes
      with no immediate target.
A tongue like a dagger
  and words like flames,
I pierce hearts and skin
  with less than perfect aim.
It’s the ones I love most
  that my wrath always seems to reach.
I hate myself for lack of restraint
  and the scars that I leave in my wake.


(January 30, 2012)

Bitter Heart, Bitter Words

Anger bites at me
like bitter frost
on a winter day.
I should wear a scarf
and mittens
but I’d rather let the cold
seep into my bones
and turn my tongue
to a knife and cut deep
into that which dares to bruise me.


(January 30, 2012)

All Of You

Is it a crime
 to no longer want
  to hide
   behind these lies
    and shallow covers
     of discretion?
Am I wrong
 to want more
  of you…
   all
    of you?
Is it shameful
 that
  I don’t want to share?
You
 carry my heart,
  so delicate
   and warm,
    in the palm
     of your hands,
      and where you go
       my heart goes.
But sometimes…
 sometimes,
  you are gone
   for too long
    and you (and my heart)
     are too far,
      from where I lay
       my bones.


(January 26, 2012)

Entangled

Lately
I find myself trapped
in a web of emotion
so strong
and tangled
that even I
can’t figure out
what it is
that I need.
Want.
Should do.
A web
woven so tightly
that I am unable
to use thoughts
or words
to work my way free.
And so I sit
stagnant
and drenched
in exhaustion.
The sheer weight
of this web
is more
than I can carry
let alone
the force it will take
to untangle.


(January 26, 2012)