We belong
to whispers at night
drunken interludes
and innocent occasions
in stolen shadows
witnessed
by strangers
in passing
and only half
borne true to life
images hidden
pressed between pages
of pictures
of a life
once wanted
now unfulfilled
vodka stained lips
and Red Bull laced veins
hold memories
barely contained
by the silence in a seam
time
spent in a dream
…Just you.
…Just me.
and our pages
have no names
our story ending
forever left
untold
just as a song
unsung
has no lyrical home
and a love
never expressed
touches but only one heart.
As for you and I,
changed forevermore
surface of skin
to depth of soul.
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Monday, May 14, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Not a Keeper
I claw at my throat
but it’s no use
I still cannot
begin to breathe
Half a life
slammed shut
in a dusty book
and shelved
only for future
generations
to look back on
Saved
by only me
and me alone
You are not a keeper
of memories
nor my heart
Always easy for you
to throw away
people
places
and things
Still
it is unsettling
sitting curbside
with the rubbish
but it’s no use
I still cannot
begin to breathe
Half a life
slammed shut
in a dusty book
and shelved
only for future
generations
to look back on
Saved
by only me
and me alone
You are not a keeper
of memories
nor my heart
Always easy for you
to throw away
people
places
and things
Still
it is unsettling
sitting curbside
with the rubbish
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Let Me Be
I don’t need you
second guessing my happiness
and judging my choices in life
because I haven’t taken the same path as you.
The same path that we travelled together
hand in hand
for so many years.
If that path were still for me
don’t you think that you would still be for me too?
(No)
I ventured off that path for a reason
and we will both be better for it.
You can thank me later
but for now,
let me live in peace.
(February 7, 2012)
second guessing my happiness
and judging my choices in life
because I haven’t taken the same path as you.
The same path that we travelled together
hand in hand
for so many years.
If that path were still for me
don’t you think that you would still be for me too?
(No)
I ventured off that path for a reason
and we will both be better for it.
You can thank me later
but for now,
let me live in peace.
(February 7, 2012)
Little Lies
We all have lies
we tell ourselves
to make everything
feel right.
To bury that feeling,
that shouting within
that tells us where we’ve gone wrong
when we’ve gone astray
or when we have abandoned our path.
That gut instinct that screams the truth
in the back of our mind
and can’t be quieted.
These things,
they haunt mostly on lonely nights.
we tell ourselves
to make everything
feel right.
To bury that feeling,
that shouting within
that tells us where we’ve gone wrong
when we’ve gone astray
or when we have abandoned our path.
That gut instinct that screams the truth
in the back of our mind
and can’t be quieted.
These things,
they haunt mostly on lonely nights.
To listen or not, this is our choice.
(February 7, 2012)
Just a Touch
Your skin
is further from my reach
than ever before
yet here I am
with arms outstretched
trying so desperately
to grasp what is left
with a feverish urgency.
I know
that if I can just
brush my fingertips
against the surface
of your barriers
I can surely reach your core
and make you fall in love
with me again.
(January 31, 2012)
is further from my reach
than ever before
yet here I am
with arms outstretched
trying so desperately
to grasp what is left
with a feverish urgency.
I know
that if I can just
brush my fingertips
against the surface
of your barriers
I can surely reach your core
and make you fall in love
with me again.
(January 31, 2012)
Entangled
Lately
I find myself trapped
in a web of emotion
so strong
and tangled
that even I
can’t figure out
what it is
that I need.
Want.
Should do.
A web
woven so tightly
that I am unable
to use thoughts
or words
to work my way free.
And so I sit
stagnant
and drenched
in exhaustion.
The sheer weight
of this web
is more
than I can carry
let alone
the force it will take
to untangle.
(January 26, 2012)
I find myself trapped
in a web of emotion
so strong
and tangled
that even I
can’t figure out
what it is
that I need.
Want.
Should do.
A web
woven so tightly
that I am unable
to use thoughts
or words
to work my way free.
And so I sit
stagnant
and drenched
in exhaustion.
The sheer weight
of this web
is more
than I can carry
let alone
the force it will take
to untangle.
(January 26, 2012)
That Faint Feeling
I can feel you
slipping
(between) the cracks
of my fingers.
The sound of
your breath
gets f a i n t e r
………the further away
that you get.
And your scent
L
i
n
g
e
r
s
so much lighter
(than ever before).
I can feel it
in my heart of hearts…
-and in the pit-
of my very soul.
You are on your way
… … . . out the door.
(January 25, 2012)
slipping
(between) the cracks
of my fingers.
The sound of
your breath
gets f a i n t e r
………the further away
that you get.
And your scent
L
i
n
g
e
r
s
so much lighter
(than ever before).
I can feel it
in my heart of hearts…
-and in the pit-
of my very soul.
You are on your way
… … . . out the door.
(January 25, 2012)
Summer Nights are For Love
The first time we kissed
I felt my future shift
It was a summer night, you see.
I love summer nights.
Just before Independence Day
and during the summer
of my independence.
The beer was flowing
like a warm breeze,
and the conversation, easy.
Laughter filled
each and every hollow,
almost as if it were on draft,
and our pints overflowed
with flirtation.
The music,
providing a soundtrack
that unbeknownst to us
would always
bring us back to that night.
You had this look,
a little rough around the edges
and to anyone else,
you may have been intimidating at first,
but your eyes,
they told me different.
They whispered to me
that you were kind.
It would be
the first night of many
that we were two in a crowd
but really,
the only people there.
Later, a moonlight walk
found us in a private park
where I would swing like
a schoolgirl on recess
and your eyes would sparkle
with pleasure, while you watched.
The bridge in that park
still holds a piece of my heart
and I shall never pass it
without remembering
the moment
your lips touched mine.
That summer night,
the first time we kissed,
I felt my future shift.
(January 20, 2012)
I felt my future shift
It was a summer night, you see.
I love summer nights.
Just before Independence Day
and during the summer
of my independence.
The beer was flowing
like a warm breeze,
and the conversation, easy.
Laughter filled
each and every hollow,
almost as if it were on draft,
and our pints overflowed
with flirtation.
The music,
providing a soundtrack
that unbeknownst to us
would always
bring us back to that night.
You had this look,
a little rough around the edges
and to anyone else,
you may have been intimidating at first,
but your eyes,
they told me different.
They whispered to me
that you were kind.
It would be
the first night of many
that we were two in a crowd
but really,
the only people there.
Later, a moonlight walk
found us in a private park
where I would swing like
a schoolgirl on recess
and your eyes would sparkle
with pleasure, while you watched.
The bridge in that park
still holds a piece of my heart
and I shall never pass it
without remembering
the moment
your lips touched mine.
That summer night,
the first time we kissed,
I felt my future shift.
(January 20, 2012)
Necessity
This aching feeling
In the pit of my soul
The spikes
That have grown
Around my heart
This insane need
To drink you
In when you are near
And to never let you go
To breathe in
Every part of you
That I can
To swallow your essence
In mighty gulps
Lest a drop run free
From my grip
These feelings,
I fear
Are the beginning
Of the end
And I think
You feel it too.
I want your fingerprints
Forever
Embedded in my bones.
(January 18, 2012)
In the pit of my soul
The spikes
That have grown
Around my heart
This insane need
To drink you
In when you are near
And to never let you go
To breathe in
Every part of you
That I can
To swallow your essence
In mighty gulps
Lest a drop run free
From my grip
These feelings,
I fear
Are the beginning
Of the end
And I think
You feel it too.
I want your fingerprints
Forever
Embedded in my bones.
(January 18, 2012)
Fields of Ambivalence
I wonder,
how long I can balance
precariously
on the edge of reason.
On the edge of what should be
and what is.
In the war of aspirations
versus reality
does ambition ever win?
how long I can balance
precariously
on the edge of reason.
On the edge of what should be
and what is.
In the war of aspirations
versus reality
does ambition ever win?
How long can I justify
blind perseverance
of this love drowned heart?
blind perseverance
of this love drowned heart?
How long can I go on
walking headstrong
into the gusting winds
of uncertainty?
walking headstrong
into the gusting winds
of uncertainty?
How long can a heart
weave
through the landmines
of ambivalence
embedded
in another man’s soul?
weave
through the landmines
of ambivalence
embedded
in another man’s soul?
(January 17, 2012)
Claustrophobia
My heart feels so heavy.
Laden with sorrow,
of the future of us.
Or more precisely, lack thereof.
I feel you’ll never move past
these ties that bind you
and these feelings
that you can afford trust to no one.
With so many restrictions,
where does that leave me?
It’s hard to make a home
in the tiny space that I’m provided
in your heart. Especially when the
walls of said space keep closing in.
(December 20, 2011)
Laden with sorrow,
of the future of us.
Or more precisely, lack thereof.
I feel you’ll never move past
these ties that bind you
and these feelings
that you can afford trust to no one.
With so many restrictions,
where does that leave me?
It’s hard to make a home
in the tiny space that I’m provided
in your heart. Especially when the
walls of said space keep closing in.
(December 20, 2011)
Graveyard of Memories
There must be a place abandoned memories go. Memories too painful to bear and are forbidden from your internal movie reel. Like cast aways sent out to die on a lonesome raft at sea because they are too weak and frail to stand alone. Only can you really toss them aside forever? Seems these are the ones that will haunt you in your sleep and in times of silent solitude, screaming for attention. Yes. There must be a place for these memories…A graveyard of sorts where respect must be paid, lest we be haunted.
(December 14, 2011)
(December 14, 2011)
Whirlpool of Oblivion
I can taste the salty sweetness
of tears upon my lips.
Lightly sweetened by love and hope.
but brutally salted by the harshness of reality.
Though the water is hot, I stand frozen,
as I watch the whirlpool
that carries my dreams into oblivion.
(December 13, 2011)
of tears upon my lips.
Lightly sweetened by love and hope.
but brutally salted by the harshness of reality.
Though the water is hot, I stand frozen,
as I watch the whirlpool
that carries my dreams into oblivion.
(December 13, 2011)
Here
How did we get here
here where nothing comes easy
and everything hurts
Here where love matters
no more and heartache blossoms
hideous flowers
Here where right and wrong
is blurred in favor of anger
and resentment stirs
Here where you are a
stranger in a new life now
and I fight alone
(December 12, 2011)
here where nothing comes easy
and everything hurts
Here where love matters
no more and heartache blossoms
hideous flowers
Here where right and wrong
is blurred in favor of anger
and resentment stirs
Here where you are a
stranger in a new life now
and I fight alone
(December 12, 2011)
Not Even Air
After what felt like years of growing further
and further into ourselves
withdrawing from each other
each into the warm cocoon of comfort that
only our own skin can provide
because you know that your own skin
is never going to make you feel less.
Less than what you had hoped for.
Less than what you had dreamed.
Less than what was planned.
Less than every wish
that you ever threw at any star
in the cosmos…hoping upon hope
that some spirit in the universe would grab
onto it and make it come true.
And so I walked. Hoping we could still be friends.
I gathered what dignity and self respect
that I had left and packed it with the little
bits of hope for future that remained
and I shut the door on what once was.
And now, six months later
I’ve begun to live again.
And I love again.
And I hope again.
But now, on my horizon
is the final end to us.
One last step to complete dissolution
of what once was.
Nothing can prepare you
for these feelings.
For the heartbreak that is felt
as you can feel the book closing
and the pages fitting more and more
tightly together
until there is no longer room for anything.
Not even air.
And for what feels like a million pound,
Ten day death march
to a funeral that I requested
when I walked out the door.
(December 7, 2011)
and further into ourselves
withdrawing from each other
each into the warm cocoon of comfort that
only our own skin can provide
because you know that your own skin
is never going to make you feel less.
Less than what you had hoped for.
Less than what you had dreamed.
Less than what was planned.
Less than every wish
that you ever threw at any star
in the cosmos…hoping upon hope
that some spirit in the universe would grab
onto it and make it come true.
And so I walked. Hoping we could still be friends.
I gathered what dignity and self respect
that I had left and packed it with the little
bits of hope for future that remained
and I shut the door on what once was.
And now, six months later
I’ve begun to live again.
And I love again.
And I hope again.
But now, on my horizon
is the final end to us.
One last step to complete dissolution
of what once was.
Nothing can prepare you
for these feelings.
For the heartbreak that is felt
as you can feel the book closing
and the pages fitting more and more
tightly together
until there is no longer room for anything.
Not even air.
And for what feels like a million pound,
Ten day death march
to a funeral that I requested
when I walked out the door.
(December 7, 2011)
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
What We Were
I’m not sure,
If a day will come,
When my heart will not endure,
A hairline fracture,
Each time that I think of you.
You never hesitate to remind me
I was the one that walked away.
But I left what we had become…
Not what we were.
I left the vast cavern of emptiness
That had begun to fill the space between us…
Not the close friends that once shared dreams.
Not the man that knew my everything.
I left the strangers that we grew awkwardly into,
And the indifferent lives we had begun to lead.
Not the way we were, for a moment in time,
Two people, partners, moving in harmony.
I’m not even sure what hurts more…
To think of what we had become,
What we were,
Or the unfulfilled promise,
Of what we had hoped to be.
(Originally November 18, 2011)
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